A debate

Since a very long time i've been mulling this over. I seem to reach an answer sometimes, but the contradicting side takes over again.. Flexible that i am, both ends manage to pull me towards them at a leisurely pace.. As if they know that both have me at their beck and call.
This could well be a very old debate, but i had to put it on. Though it has a part of the unstable atom, i somehow felt it deserves to be here than there.

So whats the deal about a marriage? Why is it that most of us want to get married to the person we love? Leave aside the societal restrictions etc. they are hardly of any concern. But is it because of that conditioning that we want to get married to the guy/girl we love? i doubt. i guess we just feel that if the other person truely loves us then they will be willing to get themselves in this contract of sorts. That they will be willing to commit to us in front of the whole wide world.
Now the question comes of the period after two people are married. They have to do things as a husband or wife that are "expected" of them. Then whether they love each other or not. Wether they feel like doing those things or not. They HAVE TO, since they are married. Many times people don't, and then the relationship becomes dysfunctional, something starts rotting within the strands. Do they really stick to what they feel? Do they really mean marriage? Sometimes i feel they just move away from the real meaning of marriage, people get married without knowing what it really is and end up messing everything up.

In the other case, if two people really love each other, and they do not get married, they live with each other of their own free will, with no contract, no obligations binding them to each other, but their own true feelings and free will, then will there be any pressure of compulsorily "having to" things for the other? Of having to oblige to certain things against one's desire, only because they are married? no there will not be. Isn't something done voluntarily by a person much more pure and valueable than something done under compulsion?

But then again people get married cause they love each other, however after a certain period that too turns into something that none wanted, only cause they have to do things which they don't want to, but have to. On top of that they are led to believe that they want those things!!

I've tried to find a reason behind marriage, i still believe it is something pure, its love at such a high that two people are willing to spend their whole lives with each other, and not look at any other alluring being around! They are willing to give up many things when they tie the knot. But then do you really want to take love to that high, bind it completely, cut its wings off and keep it as your pet? Do you really want a bird whose wings you have cut, only to go back home every night and find it lying in some corner of your house, whimpering inside, aching to break free, but not being able to. Do you want to get married only to have someone to fall back on? Someone who is there only because they don't have any other choice? only cause of the strands which you have imposed on each other? which have bound the two so badly that the threads now cut into the flesh, and hence cannot be freed? Wouldn't it be better to just have a tiny birdy flying about your head when you come back? To sing to you a soothing song of free love? To rest of your shoulder of its own accord? and just stay :)

I wonder what is better.. the knowledge that your significant other is going to be there cause you have married him/her or the fact that someone is always going to walk with you only cause they really love you, and are there only cause they want to be. :)

Knots

A parallel post to the one on my other blog. Had to have some sane insight into my insane ramblings there.. ;)

Once not very long back i've written about knots, on the other blog too. It was during some event in college, while decorating the corridors, that i realised this. While trying to undo some knots in some fabric, i realised we were just making it worse.. Many times it happens that we try to do the same in relationships, we try so hard to undo complications that we end up worsening them. This was what i learnt then.

Now i feel, some knots are just made to be, no matter how much you try, they will remain.. You try to undo them without causing harm to the fabric and they will worsen. So you've to take a call, so you want the knot to be undone or you want the fabric to remain, then you may decide to cut the knot, but then the fabric will be harmed too and the knot will still remain..

Many times, the knot is the one joining two strands to make it one, and if you manage to undo the knot you will not have the same fabric any more..

So some knots are made to be, and without them it will not be the same any more..

we just need to know what we want.

Some knots will just stay, cut them, burn them, throw them, drown them.. They will stay..

Signs

They are all over. Somehow i missed them every time. Or maybe i just refused to believe them. Refused to trust them perhaps. Or maybe i just didn't want to know what they were telling me. but the signs tell a story.. And it is mostly trustworthy. Maybe nature designs them using the strokes that our vibes give it. Its like the who world, the universe, the environment everything is a canvas as well as the colors, nature uses a brush and the strokes are the power/energy which create the picture. The vibrations which we give out, knowingly and unknowingly are the ones which create this picture.. And nature tells it to us, it shows us the picture, it allows us to change the strokes.. Its upto us to review the picture and change the strokes.. I don't say colors, because even black can create beautiful pictures, more beautiful than colored ones, if its stroked the right way.. :) Read the signs, hey are all there. For me its about time i start wanting to read them and trust them, cause even if they might tell me something i don't want, they are leading me to something i need.. :)

Vengeance

The title sounds way away from the theme of this blog, but there is something coming out of it too.. A recent few weeks have wreak complete havoc on my senses, all my senses, be it physical, struggling to stand or not knowing when the brain will give way and resign.. mental, emotional, losing track of time, forgetting where i was, trances.. all of them. I've struggled to hold on to something i believed in.. Like a drowning man holds on to a twig in the ocean, wanting to trust, and wanting fight all the demons that were right there waiting to charge me down.. Finally letting them triumph for the fear of losing everything all over again, though i did lose everything all over again..
Varied thoughts ransacked my brain, varying degrees of them. This post is about one such feeling i felt very strongly one night, i've never felt it so strongly before, and i've never controlled myself to such an extent before. it took all my might to fight this one, though i acted upon it a bit, had i acted upon it completely the results would've been disastrous. i hope this post will show some light to people who have felt the same, or are feeling the same.. I hope it gives you a path, which requires strength. A lot of strength.


Vengeance does not stop at one thing. It gets you greedy. Its a vicious creature that feeds on itself. If even one tiny seed is planted, it grows into the most ugly, bloody, blood-thirsty monster ever known. It murders the soul and thrives on itself. Nothing can kill it but determination. Keeping the soul about its tempting, all consuming grip. Its dangerous, its tricky, let the poison not grow. It leaves wounds which stay forever young, un-erasable, on the person who faces its wrath, but more on the hearth and mind of the person who seeks it. Nip it in the bud. It only causes decay, of the soul.. It leaves scars that remain forever, the wound does not scab over and heal.. Vengeance is sweet, its cold, but its never enough. Its like an addiction,it tempts like none other. kill it before it kills you. mercy can vanquish this creature of hell. Don't let it possess you. Let go..

Pray for strength.. Strength to hold on or let go, whatever it is that you want. But never let this feeling cage your heart or mind. its only causes more pain.

The reason behind the window

Guess this should've been the first post, but nonetheless.
On the other blog, i wrote a lot about everything i felt about everything(!). Going deeper into the vortex of life and complicating things further and trying to free myself. Endless loop. So then i decided to stop, slow down maybe. Here i hope look at things without myself and move away from the scary instability, though it continues to be the very core of life.. Here is an attempt to try and look at the things which life brings to us everyday, but we being so engrossed in pain and everything that we have created, that we ignore what nature has created for us, which is much better and necessary than what we create for us.. :)

So a tiny attempt to look outside of me.. You are welcome to share the window with me.. And what you might see from it.. :)

Doubt

Heard this line in a movie today morning:
"Doubt is a part of everyone's journey, no matter what they are looking for"

I added a bit to it "So, don't give up" :)

Cows and Dogs

We have so many cows around, on the roads.. Just hanging about.. blocking the traffic at times.. we curse them for moving so slowly, being dumb, or even for being there!!
They are constantly ruminating.. i feel they constantly absorb all the negative energies around the world.. Feel as if they are chewing it all and turning it into something positive.. They are just so peaceful with nothing bothering them.. Its as if they are just taking in all the pain agony and hurt into them and processing it into something better.. They make life easier for us, but just being there!! and here we are cursing away!! i guess they absorb even that!

Same goes for dogs, though i agree they create a havoc and not comaprable to the peaceful cows, but i feel they protect us from negativity, when they bark so incessantly.. Though there are many other reasons to it, specially in this season, when their hormones are running wild.. ;) but still, its as if they bark and keep the negative energies at bay.. :)

Life would be easier if we think of everything around us as working in our favor, and for our well being.. Which might just as well be true.. :)

Cheers!! To the peace and the commotion.. :)